Monday, August 18, 2008

Bored husband-

Some ideas for those of you whose wives/ girlfriends insist on dragging us to go shopping.

Bored husband-
>>
>> Proof of what can happen if a wife drags her husband along to go
>> shopping.
>>
>> Dear Mrs. Murray,
>>>> Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with
>> us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences
>> over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
>>
>> MEMO
>>
>> Re: Complaints
>>
>> 15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is
>> shopping:
>>
>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
>> people's carts when they weren't looking.
>>
>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
>> 5-minute intervals.
>>
>> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
>> tampons section.
>>
>> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
>> tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
>>
>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's
>> on lay-by.
>>
>> 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
>> area.
>>
>> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
>> shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
>> bedding department.
>>
>> 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
>> cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>>
>> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
>> mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
>>
>> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked
>> theclerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
>>
>> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
>> the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>>
>> 12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his 'Madonna look'
>> using different size funnels.
>>
>> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
>> through, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
>>
>> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he
>> assumes the foetal position and screams 'NO!
>> NO! It's those voices again!!!
>>
>> And; last, but not least!
>>
>> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
>> while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here!'

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