Man to his wife: From today onwards I am the boss in this house, I demand three course meals, desert with every meal, snacks in between, you will run me a hot bath every morning and see to it that my outfit for the day is neatly laid out on my bed. Oh, and guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?
Wife nonchalantly: More than likely the funeral parlor.
A black Zimbabwe couple are sitting in their house, ready to die. No food, no water, no electricity, inflation 150 000 %. Suddenly the pipes rumble with water, the lights go on and there is a truck in the street handing out food. The husband shouts to his wife, “bring my panga, the whites are back!”
Blond takes car for repairs and asks the mechanic what the problem is.
“Crap in the carburetor.” He replies.
Blond: “Oh, how often should I do that?
USS Hampshire: “Can someone help us! We are sinking, we are sinking!”
German Coast Guard: “Zis iz ze German Coast Guard, What are you sinking about?”