WHO DISCOVERED WHAT? WHO INVENTED WHAT?

Man discovered WOMEN and invented SEX,
Woman discovered SEX and invented HEADACHES.

Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
Woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

Man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
Woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
Woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
Woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT,
Woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Woman discovered MONEY and that's when it all got messed up.

money

WHERE'S THE IRON??

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.
>
> She knocked on the door then immediately
> walked in. She was shocked to see her
> daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.
>
> Soft music was playing, and the aroma of
> perfume filled the room.
>
> 'What are you doing?' she asked.
>
> 'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from
> work.'
> The daughter-in-law answered.
>
> ' But you're naked!' the mother-in-law
> exclaimed.
>
> 'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law
> explained.
>
> 'Love dress? But you're naked!'
>
> 'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she
> explained.
>
> 'Every time he sees me in this dress,
> he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for
> hours.'
>
> The mother-in-law left. When she got home she
> undressed, showered, put on her best perfume,
> dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay
> on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
>
> Finally, her husband came home. He walked in
> and saw her lying there so provocatively.
>
> ' What are you doing?' he asked.
>
> 'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
>
> 'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for
> dinner?'

SPOT THE DIFFERENCES??

A QUICK CHUCKLE!

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

***

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

***

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'


***

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'
The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up