Saturday, March 28, 2009

ANOTHER WOMAN "DRIVER!"

video
This is really great!!

Friday, March 27, 2009

BEWARE OF WOMAN DRIVERS!

video

Yes, it is a female driving this car, and there is no camera trick involved, she drove the car out of the show room about a week after she got her driver's licence. Be afraid, be very afraid!
I sure feel sorry for the car....

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

LET THAT BE A LESSON TO ALL!

BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER
For those that don't know him,
Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure!'
==========================



General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?


The radio went silent and the interview ended

Thursday, March 5, 2009

YEAH RIGHT!

I thought these were really cute!

These are Nashville , TN 's REAL 911 Calls!


Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Monday, March 2, 2009

SICK LEAVE!

Sick leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would
not allow me to take leave.. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY'
then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My
co-worker (Sipho) asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was
pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was
'CRAZY' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked 'What
are you doing?'

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for
a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office...

When my co-worker (Sipho) followed me, the Boss asked him
'...And where do you think you're going?'

(You're gonna love this.....)
..
..
..
..
..
He said, 'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark.'

WHACK!!

video

This is what happens if you pee someone off badly...!